im...

cheery chair

so i found this and another chair on craigs list for 4 dollars!!! what a deal right! so i tried to work my magic and... here are the results. i obviously have a few more times of trying to antique furniture... and will make some changes tomorrow ( the top will have a decal on it, and different pillow) and ill post pics then... but here it is for now...

before-

after...

i like it with the apple red color.. and now wishing i had just left it all that color.. but it works for now.

i miss my buddy.

i miss my buddy :(

today, is not a very good day. first off, today would be my cousin danis 21st birthday.i wish i was able to celebrate with her. im trying not to think about her much, as bad as that sounds, because i know i will just spend my day crying and crying.

my buddy, my skunk a monk, my best friend, my dog. have you ever had that one special pet in your life, that can chew up your favorite pair of shoes, or eat your garbage or even just does something its not sppossed to, but at the end of the day, you just love em? that was my skunk a monk. i remember when we got him, it was only 2 years ago, so he wasnt very old, and he was not a bad dog. i remember i chose him, because all the other puppies were biting me, and he just came up and passed out in my lap. he had the biggest, floppiest ears, and thats all he would do when he was a puppy. sleep. on his back, all sprawled out, snoring. when anthony would leave for work, he would come lay next to me on the bed. he was my protecter. anthony has his dog mouse, that just follows him everywhere. skunk was mine. he would come up and put his nose under my arm, and i would tell him, " skunk, you cant make me love you any more than i already do". he would play when it was time to play, rest when it was time to rest, but best of all, he would love when i needed it the most. he just always knew when i was having a hard time, he'd come up and just start licken me and try to get me to play. skunk and mouse have had a few liters of puppies but we decided it was enough. it was time to get them both fixed. harper and skunk used to be best buddies too. i used to tell people, we could never get rid of skunk cause it would get rid of a piece of harper. after getting them fixed, we noticed a change in him. his behavior changed.... a lot. he started to run away, and snapped at anthony and i a few times, which made me nervous about him doing that to harper. we have our other dog tank, who is a german shepherd, and is about 2 times bigger than skunk. i started to him them fighting, and it was skunk attacking tank. tank would just have little cuts on him, but it statred getting worse. we knew we had to get rid of him, so i put an ad out for him. i dont think it was the best ad, because i think i was hoping no one would actually call on him, so we could keep him, but just keep him away from tank. we went a while with no problems and i thought everything was fine.

last night, skunk didnt want to come in, and he has a very certain way of acting when he knows hes in trouble, thus letting us know he did something worng. we couldnt figure anything out, until we saw my sisters dog lacey. ( we are watching lace for a while till my sisters family moves back home) now, she is the sweetest, little "old" lady dog there is. she doesnt mess around with anything shes not suppossed to, and she is extremely loving and great with harper. anyone who has seen her is just amazed at how sweet she is with him. she was all dirty and looked, like she had been playing. then we saw blood. not a ton, but enough to make us worry. why would skunk, which we knew it was him, why would he attack her? he has only gone after tank, and i dont think lacey would do anything to provoke him. she just lays there! we brought her in to take a look at her, and she had little cuts on her, and a semi long gash on her back. i called the vet right away to see if we needed to bring her into emergency care for stitches. now, if you know us, you know we love animals. especially dogs, weither its ours, familys, friends, whatever. we are total dog people. so the vet said to bring her in the next morning, and he would check her out, but she would be okay, but that meant skunk, needed to be put down. since he has continually done this and has just gotten worse, he could do it to harper, or to another dog, or one of us. i just started bawling. i knew we had to, but that didnt mean i wanted to. of course i was worried about lacey, but this is my buddy. i thought he was gonna grow old playing with harper and our other kids, and me. he was only 2 years old, and had so much more life to live. i know it may sound weird cause he was just a dog. but he was MY dog.

i said my goodbyes to him, bawling and bawling with him in my lap, him shaking. anthony came out cried too because he didnt want to say goodbye to him. we gave him a treat and anthony and my neighbor put him in the truck and left.

i came in and just cried. today, its been very hard to think about our usual playtime, or even accidently calling out skunk a monk...come get a treat buddy. anthonys at work, and doesnt want to be there, but is trying his best, hes very happy he goes on days off tomorrow.

thank you skunk, for always listening to me, for always loving me, and for always protecting me. you were one of the greatest dogs, friends and companions. i miss you buddy.

What we have once enjoyed
we can never lose;
All that we love deeply,
becomes a part of us.
-Helen Keller


No one loves you unconditionally as your beloved pet."
Cynthia S. Dobesh, FL



"A good dog never dies. He always stays. He walks besides you on crisp autumn days when frost is on the fields and winter's drawing near. His head is within our hand in his old way."
~Mary Carolyn Davies

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
~Roger Caras

so any of you that know my husband, know that he is a big fan of the UFC, or any type of MMA and would someday (hopefully soon..) like to fight! we love to watch the fights together and we both have our favorite fighters. one person we both like is Ken Shamrock. He fought in the very first UFC, so UFC 1 and was an excellent fighter until he announced his retirement in 2006 .
so... we went to a gas station yesterday, Easter, which i will put up pictures and stuff about later, anyways we went to a gas station, anthony had our friend scott with him in his truck and i followed in the car and we met there. we went in, and who just so happened to be there?....

KEN SHAMROCK!!! and his family... so of course, i had my camera with me and we all got pictures with him! it was a little weird, but exciting too! im sure he's used to fans coming up to him all the time and asking him for pictures, autographs etc. so it probably wasnt a big deal to him, but it sure made anthonys day! he looked skinnier and older... he hasnt been fighting just teaching his own fighting team. he was really nice, and im very excited we got to meet him, and see his family, including his son Ryan Shamrock who is an up and comming fighter!

big news... :D

so....



big news!!!....

yay!!

couldnt be happier, from what i can tell.. (im not very good at this kinda stuff...) im only about 7 weeks or so, but oh so excited to have our beautiful family grow!

whats your reason?

ive read some really sad stories today. im laying on my couch just crying. i wish harper wasnt sleeping right now, cause i would go scoop him up in my arms, and just love the crap outta him! i've suffered from depression throughout my life, but have found my reasons to live, and what makes my life worthwhile. sometimes, you feel like giving up, some days are better than others, some days worse. some days you feel on top of the world, some days you feel lower than low. i think each one of needs to find what makes our life beautiful. each one of us need to know that life is worth living, and that we all have someone who loves and cares for us. think about your reasons. here are mine- <3>

NORWOOD, Pa. — As the high-speed Acela train came thundering down the rails, a teenage girl screamed at her friends to get off the tracks.
But Gina Gentile and Vanessa Dorwart did not move. They hugged as the train bore down on them at speeds up to 110 mph, carrying out a suicide pact that the witness herself had backed out of only moments before.
The loss has shaken Norwood and its neighboring towns just outside Philadelphia. There were hints the pretty and popular high school sophomores may have been suffering from depression, but experts say such suicide pacts are extremely uncommon — especially among teens.
Pacts are made because suicide is so daunting — and they are broken for the same reason, said Thomas Joiner, a psychology professor at Florida State University.
"This is a deeply fearsome thing," Joiner said. "We're not wired for it; our bodies will recoil from it."
Gee and Ness, or Gee-Gee and Nessa, were funny, outgoing and as close as sisters, said classmates at Interboro High School in Prospect Park.
Dorwart's obituary describes a teen with "a wonderful, caring personality, amazing blue eyes and a pretty smile." The second of five children, she had played youth soccer and softball and was a former Girl Scout. She would have turned 16 on Wednesday.
Gentile (pronounced jen-TILL'-ee), whose father died a few years ago, was one of six children. The 16-year-old didn't judge her friends, always thought of others first and "was never one to worry about herself," said Patricia Roeder, a junior at Interboro.
But Gentile had been hard hit by the sudden death of her boyfriend, who was killed by a car just weeks ago while riding his bike. And Dorwart's parents say their daughter seemed withdrawn from family events and had talked of seeing a school counselor, even as she planned her upcoming Sweet 16.
On the snowy morning of Feb. 25, police say Gentile and a friend cut class with the intention of killing themselves. They walked the two blocks to the Norwood regional rail station, where Dorwart — who had stayed home that day — met up with them.
As the train barreled its way south from Boston to Washington, Gentile heard the whistle and stepped on the tracks. Dorwart ran to join her, even as the third girl reneged and implored them to stop.
Text messages between Dorwart and the witness seem to confirm this was no accident, police said. The Delaware County medical examiner agreed, ruling the deaths suicides.
But Kimberly Dorwart, Vanessa's mother, finds that hard to accept.
"I know she wanted to live," Dorwart told the Delaware County Daily Times. "I know my daughter did not leave here with the intention of being hit by a train."
The Associated Press was unable to contact the Dorwarts; Gentile's relatives have requested privacy.
About 1 percent of suicides result from pacts, most of which are between older, partnered adults who have endured a recent hardship, said Brian Daly, an assistant professor of public health at Temple University.
Experts say suicide clusters — single occurrences that happen closely together — are more common in adolescents. Last year, the city of Palo Alto, Calif., was sent reeling by four teen suicides-by-train in less than six months. Two suicidal students from Manasquan High School in New Jersey were fatally hit by trains within two months in 2008.
Media reports that romanticize or sensationalize suicide can encourage copycats, said Dr. Paula Clayton, medical director of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. At the same time, she said, suicides should not be covered up.
"It's a fine line," Clayton said.
She noted nearly all suicides stem from underlying psychological problems such as depression. Nationwide, about 4,400 people between the ages of 10 and 24 kill themselves annually, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Pat Carr, who sells train tickets at the Norwood station, is grateful she wasn't working the day of the suicides. The grandmother of two Interboro students, Carr was taken aback at the loss.
"It just breaks your heart, my God," Carr said Monday. "They're so young."
Later that day, teens gathered to grieve outside the ticket office at an impromptu shrine of candles, balloons, stuffed animals and flowers. Some brought homemade posters of Dorwart and Gentile, covered with photos and messages.
A few feet away, Roeder sat next to a pair of crosses overlooking the tracks. She said no one will ever understand what took place that morning.
"What happened here is going to stay here," Roeder said. "You're never going to know."
As she spoke, Roeder slowly became surrounded by a group of students who began to share their feelings as well.
Then a train hammered by — WHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSH! — and the teens fell into an uncomfortable silence.
That was like a slap in the face, said one.
No, said Roeder, that's just life moving on.

soo cute